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Joke of the Day

"[first day as Niagara Falls tour guide] And to the left you can see [frantically flips through your guide] water."

"What do Princess Diana, Kurt Cobain, and Pink Floyd all have in common? Their last big hit was the wall."

"Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, 'next we go into our downward dog,' it is frowned upon to make the 'bowchickabowow' sound."

"Plumbers are a lot like hookers... They'll unclog your pipes, but it's gonna cost ya."

"Jesus made 6 thousand people bread, but a guy in the 1940s made 6 million people toast."

"I've been working on my best ice cream creation ever but it got infected. It's my Magnum O'pus."

"My favorite part of The Lion King is the part where Nicki Minaj held up baby Simba."

"What is this compound? Chemistry teacher drew this during class. http://imgur.com/fQyNg Don't know how to type spoilers, but maybe rot13 will do. Vg'f n cnenqbk."

"Kylie Jenner's nipple goes viral She should probably see a doctor"

"Everyone's unique! For instance, I like milk in my coffee, but other people are dying of malnutrition."