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Joke of the Day
"Crazy ex's are like a box of chocolates They'll kill your dog"
Next Joke
"His dick is like shopping for food at whole foods. It doesn't matter how much I get, or when I get it. I always feel fucked."
"What does a stripper do to her asshole before she goes to work? Puts the help wanted ads by the 12pack in the fridge and begs him for the millionth time to look for a job today."
"My girlfriend's body is a temple... ...and I'm a Jew, so I have to come inside it every Sunday."
"Sometimes when I'm about to sneeze, I snort some glitter. Then when I finally sneeze, glitter fills the air and people think I'm a wizard."
"Getting sick of seeing dogs that are not falling in love or at least sharing spaghetti."
"BRENDA: I brought cookies! ME: I guess I can have one, I've been good all week *eats cookie* *eats entire tray of cookies* *eats Brenda too*"
"ever have sex while camping? it's fucking in tents"
"What do you call a letter that was sent to a man by a feminist? Hate male."
"How does Moses make Coffee? Hebrews it."