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Joke of the Day

"Creed is Alter Bridge with a stapp infection."

"What do you call a deer... without eyes? No eye deer. without eyes or legs? Still no eye deer. without eyes, legs, or genitalia? Still no fucking eye deer."

"Time to ban High Capacity Assault Vehicles? how else could we stop this?"

"Why did the storm trooper return his iPhone? Because it wasn't the droid he was looking for!"

"What did Caesar say when was in agreement? I came. I saw. I concurred."

"What happens when Bosnian terrorists start attacking municipal government buildings? It Herzegovina"

"I'm not racist. I just have a problem with people's tone."

"TIFU by being Cuban and attending Fidel Castro's funeral. Now the FBI lists me as ""public enemy number Juan""."

"Why is it illegal to commit suicide? You aren't allowed to damage the government's property."

"I have the body of a 25 year supermodel... but it takes too much space in my freezer."