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Joke of the Day

"A guy came to my bar the other day and told me ""hey man I don't have much money, can you just give me your cheapest shot?"" . . I said ""Yeah, your ugly and your mom dresses you funny""."

"So i met a hooker today who said she would do anything for five bucks Guess who got their homework done!"

"In Victoria Secret shop... sir can i help you? yes...does this come in children sizes?"

"My upstairs landlord asked if screams were coming from my apt or if she was dreaming. Either way, one of us has a terrifying neighbor."

"Why are there many black people hanging around my family tree? because im a black man you racist"

"Why can't Redditors lose their virginity? They can never get further than the tip!"

"Sleeping guy on the bus has a laughably obvious boner. And now he's waking up. And now he's tweeting about it."

"Money :::: humans are the only species that have to pay to live on earth.."

"Making Zombies Moist delete"

"Jewish guy goes to his rabbi . . . . . . he asks, ""I don't get it. If we're the chosen people, why did God make the goys?"" The rabbi shrugs and say, ""Hey . . . somebody's gotta pay retail."""