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Joke of the Day

"*tips fedora at a mosquito* m'laria"

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face."

"Trees put cats in their hair so they can flirt with firefighters when they climb up them."

"Why was the African prostitute arrested for murder? Men kept disappearing in her black hole! (#69BadJokes buy it like everywhere on-line!) ((unless you're a hater of funny stuff ;))"

"Justin Bieber should thank Elton, Adam, and Ricky for making his closet a walk-in."

"Me: ""Words can't describe how perfect you are."" Her: ""Aww thank you!""... Me: ""But numbers can! 3/10"""

"Gang of three hijack truckload of Viagra. Police are looking for three hardened criminals."

"What do you call someone from Zimbabwe holding a bottle cap in their hand? A trillionaire."

"I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn't going to sit outside with her... Long story short, I'm sitting outside with her."

"Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his ass."