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Joke of the Day

"Anyone seen ""Captain Phillips""? If not, I have a pirated copy you can borrow."

"""It's pronounced poor-shah, not por-shh."" ""Ok, got it doo-shah."""

"When Snoop Dogg was born, he had 3pounds .. in his possession."

"The tip of my tongue is sore, and I just can't think of why that is."

"So I was on r/news the other day... [removed]"

"Why do Newfies want Quebec to separate? So it's a shorter drive to Toronto!"

"[movie theater] Her: *Hands me popcorn bag* Can you put this down? Me: *grabs bag* You stupid, overpriced, salty piece of shit!"

"We should send Uma Thurman to Japan She's good at fighting 8.8's"

"How does a blonde call for her dog? She puts two fingers in her mouth and then shouts ""Max!""."

"Me: what do you want for breakfast? 7: a bowl of sugar Me too kid, me too"