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Joke of the Day

"Why did the gay necropheliac stop by the morgue on his way home? He wanted to suck down a few cold ones after work."

"The funniest thing about this tweet, is that by the time you realize that it doesn't say anything, it's too late for you to stop reading it."

"[100 year old man on job interview] ""Do you have any references?"" Sure, hold on. *pulls out Ouija board*"

"Q: Why is a room full of married people empty? A: There isn't a single person in it."

"when I have dinner with a vegetarian I order two steaks to use as a bun for my third steak"

"The worlds best chat-up line: ""I like my women how I like my coffee... Either cheap and bitter or ground up and in the freezer."""

"After interviewing a candidate for an open position, I got an email stating, "" It was a pressure meeting you"""

"I like my women like I like my grenades Hanging around my belt and ready to blow."

"Time is money. Money talks. So time talks. But talk is cheap. So time is cheap. But time is money. So money is cheap. Which it's not."

"Did you hear about the woman who had twelve boobs? Sounds fake, dozen tit?"