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Joke of the Day

"Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people. Why a man would want two wives is a bigamystery."

"I finally found a book where the love interest is a grandfather clock It's about fucking time"

"My wife is gone for the next 3 days, so if any ladies out there want to come over & yell at me to take out the garbage & not have sex, hmu"

"I always dream about her every morning ""because i usually sleep in morning classes"""

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"What do you get when you mix free running with golf? Parfour Sorry"

"My friend drowned last week, so I had a wreath made in the shape of a life jacket in his memory. I'm sure it's what he would have wanted. -Milton Jones"

"I visited Canada and got an STD Hepatitis A."

"What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict? One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines."

"""Cool, I love candles. What's with the knives? Wait, stop. Please stop!"" - pumpkin"