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Joke of the Day

"*Jesus, bursting out of a chest cavity, spraying the room with blood and viscera* ""My God, Johnny? DID YOU LET CHRIST INTO YOUR HEART?!?"""

"A girl called me ""sir"" today and I was so angry I took off my suit of armor and stormed out of Medieval Times."

"Who serves all you can eat rabbit stew? Warren Buffet!"

"How do you tell if a girl is ticklish? You give her a test-tickle."

"Long busy day, I need one of those hugs that turns into sex."

"I heard they were going to fine bad drivers $100 on the spot. That's bit sexist, isn't it?"

"What's the difference between us and the dinosaurs? We don't need an asteroid..."

"2 guys walking down the road... they see a dog, licking its junk. ""I wish I could do that."" ""Uhhh....you might want to try petting him first."""

"What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a shipcarrying blue paint? Both crews were marooned."

"Why can't a blonde count to 70? Because 69 is a mouthful."