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Joke of the Day

"I visited Canada and got an STD Hepatitis A."

"Dang I didn't make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row"

"I got chased by two Canadian geese today. I know they were Canadian because when they realized I was genuinely scared, they apologized."

"You know how birds fly in a V and sometimes one side is longer than the other? You know why that is? It's because there are more birds on that side."

"Son, you can't give me any shit about having to teach me phone or computer skills... ...after all, I taught you how to use a spoon. Props to my old man for that one."

"[at dentist] so your X-rays look grea- *phone rings* hold on *on phone* a new engine? jesus, ok so as I was saying you have several cavities"

"I really hate working late. My ride turns into a pumpkin and I always end up losing a shoe."

"What happens When a Pigeoner and a Falconer move in next door Feathers get ruffled"

"""Babe, is it in?"" *""Yea.""* **""Does it hurt?""** *""Uh huh.""* **""Let me put it in slowly.""** *""It still hurts.""* **""Okay, let's try another shoe size.""**"

"I've waited a year to post this This"