105340

Joke of the Day

"ME: I need to pee really bad TEACHER: can you hold it? ME: probably not. my hands aren't very good at retaining liquid"

"""Hell no!"" A man and woman are riding up in an elevator. The man looks at the woman and says, ""Can I smell your pussy?"" She replies, ""Hell no!"" The man says, ""Well, it must be your feet then."""

"There was a man watering his garden across the street at night. At first I thought he was pissing outside but after a realized he wasnt I said ""I thought you were peeing"" he said ""no I'm Chinese"""

"Doctor Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache? Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache."

"My mom's favorite internet game is ""Log me into the Facebook. Is this the Facebook? Is that your brother? Why is he drinking upside down?"""

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for fresh Prince"

"Gotta love a dad joke Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, No, just leave it in the carton!'"

"What do you call a psychoanalysis game show? Family Freud"

"Two coffees were walking down the street... One of them was mugged!"

"Whats big and green and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table."