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Joke of the Day

"If you ever see a movie where a woman is depressed and she has shaved legs that movie is bullshit."

"Hooked up with a Medium at a bar last night I think phony was a fake because she didn't see me coming."

"Restaurant At restaurant, We wait for a waiter to bring order... Aren,t we waiter too..."

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them."

"I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe. I don't care how big a spider is, nobody steals my fucking shoe."

"Why did hitler kill himself? He saw the gas bill. It was over nein thousand."

"Black people have 3 things that are white. Their eyeballs, their teeth, and... their masters"

"""Pizza is always good."" - everyone ""We'll see about that."" - Papa John's"

"Before you tell me anything about your kid you should know I'm going to mentally leave my body."

"In grade 5 during biology my teacher asked me ""what is in cells?"" I answered my Uncle Eric and Dad and she made me go home."