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Joke of the Day

"How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them."

"I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers."

"Why did the blonde have blisters on her lips? From trying to blow out lightbulbs."

"Did you hear about the lady whose house was infested with Easter eggs? She had to call an eggs-terminator!"

"How many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Bush did it."

"This kid who wants 'two front teeth' for Christmas is full of shit."

"Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it three times now."

"I like my women like I like my soup... With most of the skin removed."

"Who's the fastest runner in the chinese olympic team? Mr. Do Ping"

"I don't want a boyfriend. Just someone to call me beautiful, love me right, and fix the clogged drain in my bathtub. Mostly the drain thing."