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Joke of the Day

"""Pizza is always good."" - everyone ""We'll see about that."" - Papa John's"

"I think I'm just going to date procrastination... It just makes sense, it's been fucking me every day since high school."

"Had sex at the bowling ally on the ball return.. ...the girl loved it because I gave her 9lbs from the front and 14 from the back"

"Why did the boy call 911 when his father ran a red light? He didn't want to go home early and do his homework!"

"I wanted to take a grad level Psych class on Freud, in my sophomore year. But the professor wouldn't let me. She said I was too Jung"

"Name two tennis stars who are famous in the hamburger world? Bjorn Borger and Billie Jean-o's Burger King!"

"Sexism Hurts Everyone I mean, I'm a sexist, and I can't get a girlfriend, so who the fuck is going to do my laundry?"

"I always carry a pocket of spare bolts at the carnival and hand two or three to the person taking the seat after me. ""I found these. Weird?"""

"An alien and a mexican walk into a bar... Ouch they said. It was an iron bar."

"Remember when... ... the General Motors jobs were in Flint, and you couldn't drink the water in Mexico. And now..."