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Joke of the Day

"My neighbors wifi isn't working. Do you think they are aware and are trying to fix it, or should I go let them know?"

"Dawn's coming over. ""Dawn from work, or crazy Dawn?"" *Dawn walks in* ""WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't the lady I'm framing for murder."

"What do you get when you cross Rogaine with Viagra? Don King"

"New year Happy happy new year a little boy said to his girlfriend happy new year girl said first give gift then celebrate happy new year"

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? One Jew at a time!"

"What do you call the men I kidnap and jerk off against their will? Stroke Victims."

"Why was Santa's little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem."

"You should never trust a person as far as you can throw them. Needless to say, I trust the fuck out of babies."

"When you want them, they don't want you. When they want you, you don't want them. When you both want each other, something fucks it up."

"Just got a residual check for 6 dollars for my scene in Almost Famous sooo...going to Vegas!!!!!!!!"