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Joke of the Day

"Just got a residual check for 6 dollars for my scene in Almost Famous sooo...going to Vegas!!!!!!!!"

"Please end the Jew jokes. I had a relative that died in a concentration camp. Poor bastard fell right out of the guard tower."

"Don't you hate it when you punch up the fuckline?"

"Sometimes I squirt mayonnaise across my breasts so I don't forget what it's like to have a boyfriend."

"The three things you should never say at a gay bar Fuck that shit! Can I bum a fag? Can I push your stool in?"

"Comas make a big difference in a sentence. For example: Ben is in a hurry Ben is in a coma"

"What do you call a dog that does magic? A labracadabrador"

"What kind of concert only costs 45 cents? 50 cent featuring Nickelback"

"It's hard for me to believe that the new Star Wars trailer has already been seen millions of times. How do they even know where it's parked?"

"Justin and Selena broke up? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOObody cares."