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Joke of the Day

"New year Happy happy new year a little boy said to his girlfriend happy new year girl said first give gift then celebrate happy new year"

"Jesus loves you... ...with his whole mouth."

"Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? He wanted a well balanced meal."

"Me: Which cup do you want? 2-year-old: That one! Me: Let's pick a different one. 2-year-old: No! *drinks milk from a shot glass*"

"Thank you for saying, ""I'm just being honest"" after that horrible thing you just said. I feel better now that I know you meant it."

"When that guy has sex with his wife on a motorcycle he's ""cool."" When I do it I'm ""absconding with the cadaver."""

"What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening? A pillow"

"What did the NSA say to Russia after the blizzard? We're Snowden!"

"What does Batman say when he goes down on a woman? To the bat cave!"

"Does a farmer eat female sheep? Ewe, no."