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Joke of the Day
"In Australia your best friend and your worst enemy are both called a.. Cunt"
Next Joke
"Longest minutes ever: 1. Waiting on a text 2. Waiting on your food to get out the microwave 3. Commercial while watching a good show."
"Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware? Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware? M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa"
"So a grasshopper walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey, did you know I have a drink named after you?"". The grasshopper says ""You've got a drink named Steve!?"""
"Why was Windows afraid of 7? Because 7 8 10."
"Have you heard about the newly developed French tank? It has 3 forward gears and 16 reverse"
"[interview] Where do you see yourself in the next 5 years? Me: ""OMG I'M NOT A PSYCHIC THE SIGN SAID NO SKILLS REQUIRED!"""
"Sprinklers are just little heads looking around for their friends but they can't find them so they cry"
"A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar... ...and they have a good time because because they're not fucking assholes."
"What did the Swedish chef say to his girlfriend when he found out she was pregnant? Abort - Bort - Bort!"