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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the men I kidnap and jerk off against their will? Stroke Victims."

"If we are talking and I reach up and slowly turn my bear suit head around backward, our conversation is over."

"""How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?"" ""It's a really obscure number, you probably haven't heard of it."""

"What do you call Chinese woman with one leg? Irene."

"*outside my house* - Don't let them know you have Clifford - Hey you must really like red your whole first floor is red, and barks? - Damn"

"I play hard to get; if it's hard, you're getting it."

"What did the scat fetishist say to his wife before divorcing her? I've had enough of your shit."

"What's the difference between a cow and the Holocaust? A cow can't be milked for 70 years."

"My watch is loose, it keeps slipping out of my hand. ..maybe i should Titan it"

"What did the elephant say when he was pulled out of the quicksand by the balls? Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Ball!"