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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people say ""Oh, I'm a vegetarian except for fish"". Yeah? And I'm a non-smoker except for cigarettes. #WorldVeganDay"

"A sign in the window reads CURED MEATS. Inside, a salami takes his first steps since the accident. A prosciutto learns to forgive."

"Two guys in CA walked off cliff playing Pokemon. Natural selection accelerated at 9.8 m/sec2."

"""I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time."" Said the Malaysian shark."

"Moss and Algae take a liking to each other. Algae and a Moss took a liking to each other and soon after got married. After a few years they realized their marriage was on the rocks."

"Kate on Facebook can't believe the ordacity of some people. I can't believe the audacity of people who use big words that they can't spell."

"Germany loses at home, and Japan beats America in overtime... M. Night Shyamalan's pitch for a World War II movie."

"I once had a goldfish that would hump the carpet, but only for about 30 seconds."

"What do you call a pirate who is all out of reales(Silver coins)? Long Gone Silver... /drops mic"

"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. Hello Jack."