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Joke of the Day

"You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire."

"Luke: Did you get the card I made you? Vader: I couldn't read it. Your handwriting is awful. Luke: I HAD TO WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND."

"Where do Jewish kids with Attention Deficit Disorder go in the summer? To concentration camp."

"Me: ""I'm looking for a psychic who rates themselves highly."" Ian: ""I'm a medium."" Me: ""I need someone better than that."""

"When our solar system was formed, the Sun was in charge... So the planets started a revolution."

"Why don't Boxers have sex before a fight? They don't like eachother"

"What do you call a computer with an amazing singing voice? A Dell."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Owls go. Owls go who?"

"[1st day as a paramedic] me: can you point to where it hurts cyclist: [points at his severed leg at the other side of the road]"

"#1: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?"