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Joke of the Day

"Luke: Did you get the card I made you? Vader: I couldn't read it. Your handwriting is awful. Luke: I HAD TO WRITE WITH MY LEFT HAND."

"I once sat down with Oprah to discuss my drug use but I was high & that might not have been Oprah because why did she need to borrow money?"

"What do you call an Indian dating service? Connect the dots."

"it's not abuse if the substance likes it."

"I want to open a drinking establishment without any furniture. It'll be the best around, Bar None."

"What happened when Jesus 'screwed' around? He got *nailed*."

"What do you call a very funny mountain? Hill-arious!!"

"What did the idiot do after seeing a joke that wasn't very funny? Downvote it."

"Harry was blind. His friends bought him a silver-coated nutmeg grater. When they asked how he liked it, he said it was the most violent story he'd ever read."

"Q. How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Nobody knows, there's no light."