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Joke of the Day

"Me: ""I'm looking for a psychic who rates themselves highly."" Ian: ""I'm a medium."" Me: ""I need someone better than that."""

"Do you think George Clooney has an iTunes playlist called Clooney Tunes?"

"What do you call a Mexican who lost a car? Carlos"

"A young lady walks into a bar... She was protected by a rubber Bump*her*"

"Horses are very contrarian... No matter what you ask them, all they say is ""neigh."""

"I won't sit back and let gay people marry. But I'll let big oil melt the icecaps because I believe in a lil' something called freedom. #tcot"

"What did the German say when the Spaniard asked him for some cheese? Mi Kase es su Kase."

"What is the difference between Santa and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney."

"So my dad was at the hardware store and asked if I needed anything. I said I was hungry and he said... ""Sure I'll get you some nuts ;)"""

"Red head says to blonde - ""I feel so dirty.... ....I slept with a Brazilian!"". Blonde says - ""Oh, you little slut puppy, you! Hey - I forgot....how many is a Brazilian?"""