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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Brussel sprouts and snot? .. Kids don't eat Brussel sprouts !"

"What helps put a Jew to sleep? gas"

"i want to create and sell action figures based around fathers. ""father figures"". First edition, ""dead beat dad"". BTW it's just an empty box."

"So this morning I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"What do Abraham Lincoln and Ryan Fitzpatrick have in common? Neither of them can finish a play"

"What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree? A gorilla pooped on his face."

"What kind of fun does a priest have? None."

"What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Hitler? Usain Bolt was able to finish a race."

"If you can read but still watch the Kardashians please donate your unused literacy to someone who might use it."

"People say I am condescending. THAT MEANS I TALK DOWN TO PEOPLE."