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Joke of the Day
"What helps put a Jew to sleep? gas"
Next Joke
"Excuse me, but do you need the Jaws of Life? Because damn girl, you're crushin' it"
"Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain 3.) prisoner of war 4.) homeless person 5.) wizard"
"I wish I could put my whole fucking house in the washing machine."
"Pizza Hut: Hello Me: I'd like a hot dog bites pizzas PH: Pick up or delivery? Me: Based on that order, you think I get off the couch?"
"Why are surveyors so much fun? Because most of them are party chiefs."
"A masochist cried to a sadist: ""Please hurt me! For the love of god, hurt me!"" And the sadist said ""no."""
"Vagina jokes aren't funny Period."
"I killed my twin because she wouldn't admit that she was the evil one."
"Father: *places hand on shoulder* My son..... *Son: Yes father? *Father: Check out this cool severed hand I just found! editted for format, which I suck at apparently"