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Joke of the Day

"""Wanna play the Rape Game?"" ""No"" ""That's the spirit"""

"I Saved A Life Today. It looks great in my cereal box collection."

"*gets down on one knee* Wow, you really suck. Why can't you be more like the other knee?"

"[son's football game] Other dad: which one's yours? Me: I can't remember. I just wait for him in the car when the games over"

"Why are radios cheaper in Scotland? Because the boxes are battered and and the speakers are fried."

"Q: What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife? A: A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry."

"Audrey Hepburn probably has my favorite last name that combines an STD and a symptom of an STD"

"I like to put Aunt Jemima next to the Uncle Ben in my pantry. I'm hoping for a love connection."

"Since it started raining all my girlfriend has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse I'm thinking about letting her in."

"What has arms but can't move them? A small child paralyzed from the waist up."