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Joke of the Day

"My wife has this really weird fetish... She likes to dress up as herself and then act like a fucking bitch all the time."

"How are pirates like pimps? They both have gold teeth and say ""yo ho!"""

"My Wallet My wallet is like an onion, opening it makes me cry :-("

"Today I got bored and went to a seafood restaurant... [OC- would like opinions] Just for the halibut."

"I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'."

"What do you call a male trapped in a female body? A fetus"

"Bend over and take it like a taxpayer."

"How hard do you need to press someone's boob to ooze out milk ? About tree fiddy."

"The local flasher in my area was going to retire this week but he's changed his mind and is going to stick it out till Christmas."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands."