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Joke of the Day

"Today I got bored and went to a seafood restaurant... [OC- would like opinions] Just for the halibut."

"Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes? Because they take everything literally."

"Humuhumunukunukuapuaa A joke from my 3 yo said just before Halloween. Ahem. What do Humu Humu fish say on Halloween? Trigger treat!"

"How do you feel when there's no more coffee? depresso"

"[at Doctor's office] ""When's the last time you had sex?"" Last night. ""With a male or female?"" Oh...with another person?"

"[At job interview] Manager: So, do you have any questions about the job? Me: Yeah, can I have it?"

"What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military? A Sweeping Generalization."

"Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nah, that would be too long anyway."

"I'm really good at making women laugh out loud When they see me naked for the first time..."

"Any time someone tells you they're ""about 20 minutes away"" they're lying. They haven't left yet."