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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I get down on my knees and pray for a pigeon to fly directly into my mouth"

"Princess Diana had dandruff. Cops found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment."

"Why to Native Americans wear Jockstraps? TOTEM POLE!!"

"so awkward when the bill for the wall comes out and no one reaches for it"

"In honor of Columbus Day I'm going to drive around until I get lost then make myself at home in the first clearly inhabited house I find"

"My parents never taught me how to be humble or modest I'm just naturally incredible at it."

"What do you call a carpet cleaning company based out of Ohio? Cleveland Steamers"

"[hitting on hot babe in bar] "".. You're 28? NO WAY! I used to be 28! This is spooky. You like oxygen? OMG you're not gonna believe this.."""

"I like my women like I like my doughnuts black and glazed."

"My grandpa believes he is best friends with Freud. But I keep telling him he is just a Sigmund of his imagination."