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Joke of the Day

"what I love about whole foods is you can fit $50 worth of groceries in a stylish evening clutch"

"What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? [fixed] You can hang the picture with only one nail."

"[interview] ""Describe yourself in 5 words."" me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant."

"How do you make Obama's eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ear."

"They tried me make to go to rehab and I said what is rehab hombre I speak Spanish *huffs a lot paint*"

"Why did Jennifer cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing her seat belt"

"Why are there no knock-knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings. Happy 4th of July r/jokes!"

"Wife: We're not talking over the radio. This relationship is over. Husband: This relationship is what? Over."

"I bring my Epipen everywhere It's my greatest treasure. I think my friend really wanted me to have it. He gave it to me right before he died."

"Deli meats I knew a guy who was addicted to deli meats. He just couldn't quit cold turkey."