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Joke of the Day

"I bring my Epipen everywhere It's my greatest treasure. I think my friend really wanted me to have it. He gave it to me right before he died."

Next Joke
 
"I love Summer. Two weeks of doing absolutely f*ck all. And, once my boss gets back, I get to go on holiday as well."
"It's Autism Awareness Day Just letting you all know"
"People at my work name their food.. .. today I ate a lasagna named Peter"
"I was going to make a joke about an oil refinery... but I didn't want to make a crude joke."
"If I can't buy you a drink, at least let me fix your laptop."
"My Thai wife has got a penis the size of a tubular bell... I love her long chime."
"What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted."
"I was researching the Jackson family tree. I got back as far as the civil war and then I hit a stone wall."
"With my luck, I'll die and get reincarnated as myself."