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Joke of the Day
"[interview] ""Describe yourself in 5 words."" me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant."
Next Joke
"I saved my neighbors some money on their car insurance By totaling their car!"
"What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror? Han Double"
"Smartphones are pacifiers for adults."
"muffin man I was talking to the muffin man he looked kinda sad so I said something wrong? He said, no muffin's wrong"
"How do you stop a Polish tank? Shoot the guy that's pushing it"
"I put my pants on just like everyone else: reluctantly."
"Be safe this weekend, otherwise your dumb friends will end up telling some local news reporter how you were always the ""life of the party."""
"Pepsi just bought out Nike. Nike's new slogan will be, ""Just Dew It""."
"What does Matthew McConnaughey call Nazis when he's trying to bring them into the mainstream? Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right"