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Joke of the Day

"[interview] ""Describe yourself in 5 words."" me: Salacious. Professionally sensual. HR compliant."

"My mom asked me what causes dwarfism... I told her I didn't know as it is of little interest to me."

"How much time did you spend on your hair before you took a selfie of your boobs?"

"My sister read '50 Shades of Grey' and relayed some of its explicit content. I pretended to think those things are shocking, too."

"How does your stomach know to send the burps to the mouth and the farts to your bum?"

"Rabbit TV ESPN had the Natonal Spelling Bee on there."

"I once sat down with Oprah to discuss my drug use but I was high & that might not have been Oprah because why did she need to borrow money?"

"Boss: Can I have a word with you? Me: You just had 7 with me. Good talk. Boss: But.. Me: Shhhhhhh....."

"I've just found that my Wii remote doesn't work if you take it out of the sync region. Much like my wife."

"Pretty gay how some dudes like other dudes."