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Joke of the Day

"I can't be Levi never tried speech wreck ignition soft wear be four. This is sofa king convene Yenta!"

"You know what they say about incest... It's only relatively bad."

"I quite enjoy blowing air around a room. In fact, I'm a big fan."

"God I hate kids. And people. And animals. And sardines. And stuff that's alive. And stuff that's dead. I hate stuff. I like cheese."

"I love this hooker. Warts and all."

"Slap bass For when you need practice but your wife isn't around."

"A drunk law undergrad walks into a bar... ...the invigilator kicks him out."

"You must be peanut butter because you're making my legs feel like jelly."

"Why did the pig stop sunbathing? He was bacon in the heat."

"Hey, parents of an only child considering having one more, know that I just split an M&M in half. An M&M. In half."