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Joke of the Day

"Come on CNN it's not a snow storm. It's Mega-Winterpocalypse Snowmageddon Def Con 4 KillStorm 2011. Get your facts straight."

"How do you ruin a good joke? By posting it over and over on the same subreddit"

"1) Lick tip. 2) Stick it in gently. 3) Pump 12-20 times. 4) Sweat profusely. 5) Pull out gently. -Instructions on inflating a basketball."

"-I love you! -Me too! -You too what? -What you said -What did I say? -That -Say it -What? -I want u to say it -Well -and? -what? -Say it -it"

"In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties"

"I have two friends who always compete against each other in art competitions But they always end in a draw"

"My mom is having a hysterectomy. This is like the time I moved away to college and she tore down my childhood bedroom."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he's not going to come anyway. (might of already been posted)"

"How did the hipster got his tongue burnt? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"I like most ancient cities... But I Constantinople."