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Joke of the Day

"There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who infer."

"I think the same thing every time I pass one of those ""slow children"" signs... MAN, does this heroin make my skin itch!"

"Based on their level of excitement, bros in beer commercials seem unaware that you can pretty much buy beer anywhere."

"I bought my wife a wooden leg for Christmas. It's not her main present, just a stocking filler"

"I put a lot of basil, parsley, rosemary and thyme in my old Volkswagen Beetle... ..it became herby."

"[backstage at GOP debate] AIDE: Mr. Trump needs his hair. CAT: I'm puking as fast as I can."

"It must be tough for a woman going through her OKCupid messages finding a good one... It's like finding a needle in a hey-stack."

"Scary shit happens in horror movies at 3am. So when hubby woke up screaming with a leg cramp at 3am, I threw the bible at him."

"Girl was towelling her wet pussy, she enjoyed it and started rubbing it vigorously... Until the pussy cried MEOW and ran away. Always be kind to animals..!!"

"Donald Trump For President! That was the joke"