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Joke of the Day

"It must be tough for a woman going through her OKCupid messages finding a good one... It's like finding a needle in a hey-stack."

"I'm on the toilet, and I'm pretty sure I just reached enlightenment. Holy shit."

"Made out with a milf in the theatre last weekend... Although the movie was pretty well ruined with little Timmy talking through the whole thing."

"whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza gets out of the oven."

"if evolution isnt real then sombody please explain how my couch has ""evolved"" to fit the shape of my butte"

"I just responded to a text message with: I can't hear you, you're breaking up"

"Why don't lobsters share their dinner? Because they're shellfish!!!"

"My neighbour thinks it's funny to joke with my wife, in front of me, that our kids look a bit like him. One day, I'm going to say something to the black bastard."

"I Read Something In The Newspaper A few days ago, there was an article in the newspaper obituaries titled ""Survivor of Nazi Death Train Dies"" ... I guess he's not a survivor anymore."

"A three legged dog walked into a saloon. Said..""I'm looking for the man that shot my Pa."""