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Joke of the Day
"How can you tell if you at the gay BBQ?!? Its when all the Hot Dogs smell like shit!!!"
Next Joke
"Doesn't the president pardon a Turkish jet every thanksgiving?"
"*tattoo parlor* ARTIST: What do you want? ME: Surprise me *He tattoos the word 'hiccup'* ME: Why did y- ARTIST: BOO! *the tattoo disappears*"
"People who say ""No, and here's why..."" need to realize that we stopped listening after the ""no"" part."
"Whenever someone says ""Let's kill two birds with one stone"", I wonder what they did wrong. Probably some kind of religious violation."
"H: I don't understand what goes on in your head. Me: If you prefer, I can quit twitter and just tell you all of this. H: No, we're good."
"Starbucks puts the fee in coffee"
"What did our parents do to kill boredom before the Internet ? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they don't know either."
"The three magic words EVERY woman loves to hear, ""You were right."""
"F*ck the zombie apocalypse, it's never going to happen. Worry about the f*cktard apocalypse, it's already upon us."