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Joke of the Day

"H: I don't understand what goes on in your head. Me: If you prefer, I can quit twitter and just tell you all of this. H: No, we're good."

"Mom, don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital. NoUrImmature, you've been a doctor for eight years now. Please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

"Want to know where to find the worst pun in Alberta? Call gary"

"Brutally honest? I'm always honest ... I guess the brutality would depend on your level of aversion to the truth"

"I have a joke to tell. Can you reddit?"

"I inherited one of the paintings done by Adolf Hitler today. I don't want to hang it in my house though. I'm afraid it's bad Jew Jew."

"""We don't serve faster than light neutrinos in here"", said the bartender. A neutrino walks into a bar."

"Man, the frappes at the grinder place by the rotary are wicked good. Go Sox! Sorry about that. I had 2 Boston Kreme donuts this morning."

"Boyfriend questionnaire: 1) Have job? 2) Have car? 3) Have goals? If you answer yes to any of the above questions thanks but no thanks."

"After wandering for 10 years in the Desert, a man finally stumbles upon a remote brothel. This was his return to syphilisation."