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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone says ""Let's kill two birds with one stone"", I wonder what they did wrong. Probably some kind of religious violation."

"I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn't reach the meat that was on the top shelf He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high."

"Why I hate 9/11..... I hate 9/11 because my cousins died doing their favorite thing... Flying Planes."

"Why did Lt. Lenk and Sgt. Colborn cross the road? To put the bones on the other side."

"Women are like pianos... if they're not upright, they're grand."

"A 12 year old posts a selfie, 37 RTs and 1013 likes. I post a selfie, I lose 18 followers and my family disowns me."

"Top Gear was twelve years old... That's one of the oldest things that the BBC staff have fucked."

"Poor Bob Holness Only been at the pearly gates five minutes, when Amy Winehouse stumbles over and asks 'can I have an E please Bob'."

"When men and women argue who's the most stubborn... Then men concede they are are, because they just don't want to argue this anymore."

"What do you get when you stick your hand in a blender? a handshake"