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Joke of the Day

"Funny Lance Armstrong Joke I just heard that Lance Armstrong got his medals taken away from him for using drugs.. This is crazy because, when I do drugs.. I can't even find my bike."

"WTF dude put your hands down I'm NOT robbing you I just enjoy wearing pantyhose on my face this is getting so old put $20 on pump 5 man"

"I'm so old I remember when teens getting pregnant meant ""PANIC!"" not ""Congratulations, you get your own MTV show!"""

"You know your life sucks when... Your job sucks, Your kids suck, And your wife doesn't."

"A geologist hit a man with his car. What crime is he accused of? Vesicular Basalt"

"""Is this InkJet any good?"" ""Sure we've sold it to royalty"" ""Princesses?"" ""Mate, it prints ALL the letters"""

"Why don't blind people skydive more often? It scares the shit outta their dog! - - - - **Now how do the blind people know they're about to hit the ground ?** The leash gets slack."

"I once met a girl with 3 boobs Everyone called her triceratits"

"It was so cold UN weapons inspectors suddenly decided that chemical weapons might be hidden in Hawaii"

"A pirate goes to the doctor, worried the moles on his back are cancerous ""It's ok"" says the Doctor ""They're benign"" ""Count 'em again Doc"" says the pirate. ""I reckon there be at least ten"