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Joke of the Day

"A dog and a cat walk into a bar. One starts licking its ass and the other says ""Two can play that game!"" They forget about drinks."

"I just got a great deal on a Flesh Light... Craigslist is the best!"

"When Oasis broke up, my girlfriend was so upset. I told her to stop crying her heart out."

"What are the similarities between Cocaine and Gain detergent? A:With both of them you go sniff sniff hooray!"

"""I just died in your arms"" sounds much more romantic than ""You're holding a dead body."""

"Emperor: How are my elite troops doing on Endor? Vader: They were all viciously murdered by teddy bears. Emperor: That sounds plausible."

"Irony Just an alloy of Fe and Yttrium"

"How come sneezes get a ""God Bless You"" but coughs get a cold unflinching silence?"

"Hillary Clinton is going to be the first f president... ... Oops, I meant to say female but someone deleted the emale"

"I had so much sex... and I was so sexually drained, you could say I was fucking retarded."