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Joke of the Day

"Have you heard Schrodinger's joke? It's both funny and not funny at the same time, but there is no way of knowing if anyone else will laugh at it until you've told it."

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"Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job? The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job."
"What do you call Dracula's retarded cousin? Countdown This was a joke I heard on TV some time ago ... Thought it was worth a share."
"What is it called when Venom snake gets spotted doing something bad? Getting caught red handed!"
"How can you tell if a ghost is about to faint? He gets pale as a sheet."
"how many indians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Sikhs"
"DOG 911: What's your emer- DOG: HE THREW A BALL BUT I CAN'T FIND IT DOG 911: He still holding it? DOG: YES! HOW'D HE FETCH IT BEFORE ME??"
"There was a sniper here Anybody s.."
"[1st day as undercover cop] *approaches drugdealer* Me: ""Yes hello I'd like to purchase one crack and two marijuanas please!"" *gets stabbed*"
"What did the black man get for his 18th birthday? Your car."