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Joke of the Day

"*outside my house* - Don't let them know you have Clifford - Hey you must really like red your whole first floor is red, and barks? - Damn"

"What did one depressed saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support before people think we're nuts!"

"BIRD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE Did you hear about the man who did it with a parakeet? He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable."

"I came up with a suspenseful joke about cheese... Queso here it goes...."

"My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over."

"Me: *puts ferret in box with cat* Mom: What are you doing? Me: Making carrets! Mom: Carrots? Me: Yup! *plays Barry White* Cat: *yowls*"

"R/News that about covers it"

"What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit? Try to neghostiate."

"Why didn't Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken came in a different box..."

"Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a plane crash. Who survives? Not the joke."