128637

Joke of the Day

"Leaving church just now, the priest shakes my hand and says ""Love your neighbor"" I said ""Me too Father, she's got some tits, huh!??"""

"Sunday is the only day of the week I can say, ""I'll do it in a minute,"" never do it, and not feel guilty."

"What's the difference between a Porsche and a Porcupine? A Porcupine has the pricks on the outside"

"I had my first UFO experience this morning I walked into the kitchen and said to the missus ""Morning fat ass"". Next thing there were flying saucers coming at me from everywhere!"

"Introducing myself to new boyfriends parents: ""Hi, I usually don't make it this far."""

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con""... Then what's the opposite of ""progress?"""

"I think my wife has weekly lessons with the devil on how to be more and more evil... ...I don't know how much she charges him."

"What do you call an amphibian in hiding? Incognitoad."

"Who is the Gorillas' favourite playwright? Eugene O'Neill - who wrote 'The Hairy Ape!'"

"Rate kickass only this if your name isn't Steve"