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Joke of the Day

"Sunday is the only day of the week I can say, ""I'll do it in a minute,"" never do it, and not feel guilty."

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"What's a gay man's favorite planet? Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars."
"What's so unpleasant about being drunk? Just ask a glass of water! -Douglas Adams"
"A young couple are in bed for the very first time The guy asks "" Are you nervous?""--- ""Yes "" she says.--- ""Is this your first time?""--- ""No, i've been nervous before"""
"How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, or two? Three, or four?"
"Statistics show that for every two people Chuck Norris killed, he impregnated one."
"""Wow, that's great!"" ~ Me, not paying attention, and hoping you didn't just tell me your Grandma died."
"I like my women like I like my coffee! Ground up and in the freezer."
"A loving couple just bought a new house The man says ""We really need a basement."" The wife replies ""Oh come on, as if the size of your sex organ wasn't enough for you already."""
"What does a Syrian refugee and an American abortion have in common? White people didn't allow them to come into the U.S."
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