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Joke of the Day

"I once worked in a pathology lab... ...but I was asked to leave after one of my reports said ""cause of death: autopsy:"""

"My parents tried to surprise me with a car this Christmas... Fortunately they missed."

"How do animals cross the ocean? On a Gir-raft."

"Two Tomatos A father tomato and son tomato were walking down the street. The son was falling behind so the father turned around and **STOMPED** on his son. ""**KETCHUP!**"""

"A comedian walks into a club and says the punchline."

"Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake."

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? 'Meet Patty!'"

"Son: ""Mom, Dad.. I'm gay"" Mom: *staring at dad Dad: *clenches fists Mom: ""don't..."" Dad: *sweats profusely Mom: ........ Dad: ""HI GAY. I'M DAD"""

"I like guys marrying my sister like I like my pinata coladas Full of rum! (Currently attempting to write a best man speech for my soon to be brother in law)"

"As a commercial livestock hauler I've delivered quite a few donkeys in my time I suppose you could say my clients get their ass handed to them"