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Joke of the Day
"What do you call couples that practice pulling out as a method of contraception? Parents."
Next Joke
"If you stop water with a dam... ...do you stop holy water with a goddamn? If you psychically stop holy water for a living, can you mind your own goddamn business? -&y (Yes i wrote that myself)"
"The stock market monitors Chuck Norris."
"What did Hamlet say to his cat? Get thee to a nyanery!"
"why do ghosts like elevators? it lifts their spirits"
"I make my kids drink tap water because I feel their chances of gaining unexplained super powers are greater with tap."
"On V-day I broke my girl's heart... She was a bloody mess..."
"[getting escorted out of zoo] ""I just wanted to see if the panda knew kung fu like in the movie"""
"Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture."
"I bought some shoes from a drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with but I've been tripping all day."