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Joke of the Day

"To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person."

"I was talking to a hot North African girl for hours. We just clicked"

"What goes on forever with no head? A loveless marriage."

"Shitting myself about this Ebola situation... Which is worrying, because that's one of the symptoms."

"I'm what you might call 'internet pretty', meaning I'm really your dad."

"Hey guys, wanna hear a joke? Reddit servers."

"What's the difference between ironman and ironwoman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command."

"When do virgin guys get some ass ? when their fingers go through the toilet paper"

"I think single ply toilet paper is very spiritual. I easily get in touch with my inner self."

"Nothing bums me out more than realizing how many celebrity baby names I know."