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Joke of the Day

"So I woke up this morning to my dishwasher making a weird sound.. Turns out she was just vacuuming."

"Nothing makes me want to leave a web page more than a popup window saying, ""Are you sure you want to leave this page?"""

"Vegetarians and vegans are admirable ...... but cannibals are the real humanitarians."

"My brother told me this today. Malayasia flight 404 not found."

"Why are Americans so good at shooting? They have the best schools for it."

"Have u heard of the guy with diarrea I hear he has the shits for you"

"WRITING TIP: Every movie should start with a close-up of an alarm clock going off and a hand clumsily trying to silence it."

"What do you do when you see and Mexican on a bike? Shoot him he probably stole that bike. What do you do when you see a black man on a bike? Shoot the bike, that's your nigger."

"I bet the guy who named it The Big Bang was super horny that day."

"If video games were really bad for you, then the entire Pac-man generation would be eating pills and running away from their problems Oh wait."