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Joke of the Day

"Cop: You know your license's expired? Me: Didnt even know it was sick. Cop: Haha! Me: HAHA! Cop: Hehe.. Me: Eheh.. Cop: Step out of the car."

"""Hey, mate, rumors have it that you won a car in a lottery, wanna hang out sometimes?"" ""Yeah, it's mostly true, except it was a house, not a car. And poker, not lottery. And lost, not won""."

"People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter."

"Where is Donald Trump gonna put all of the illegal immigrants once he arrests them? Juantanamo"

"A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth The result was soup rising"

"Hey Texas, in Florida it's legal to abort other people's kids up to 17 years."

"Yellowstone park rangers have discovered a Grizzly that only eats cheese... ... it's a Camembert."

"So I have this black friend. ... just kidding."

"Diner: Waiter please close the window. Waiter: Why is there a draft? Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times."

"What do pantyhose and Brooklyn have in common? Flatbush"